My immediate thought when I clicked on this story was it had to be in Florida. Australia is the Florida of the old British Empire though, so I was on the right track. 

The Trax exists to be cheap over economical or efficient. Chevy will shit these things out in batches for rental fleets and to fill the niche for people on a tight budget who want something new, but not a sedan because they sit low. It doesn’t have to push 40mpg like the Spark because it’s being sold to people who are…

That 2nd image is brutal. It looks like an angry pig, or maybe the generic Japanese soldier from those viciously racist WWII propaganda posters. 

This car is like a cocaine mistress or boy toy. It will be an incredibly good time when it runs properly. It will also try to completely wreck your life on a fairly regular basis. The fun to misery scale will seesaw back and forth enough to make you motion sick.

30 combined from a FWD compact that only has 137 horsepower seems like a ripoff. That this is a big improvement over the last Trax just highlights what a pile of shit that car was. 

The issues go beyond emissions or pollution, however, since meticulous lawn care involves frequent watering, which can exacerbate droughts, while also harming biodiversity. Per Axios, “studies have shown that cutting the grass every two weeks (or less) is great for bees, which thrive on dandelions and clover.” Bees…

You can stop me from whoring myself out when you take my phone from my cold dead hands!

It probably depends on whether the owner is a biker or an office worker who had their midlife crisis during the pandemic. 

Yeah, this is totally not what they want and it totally won’t handle any of those fire roads but... as they say, ‘when in Rome...’.

Look Charlie, the correct answer isn’t always the right answer. You and your wife only have one shot at making a good first impression on us Yanks.

I don’t think this restoration even counts as halfass. Maybe quarterass? For a quarter of the price I’d be on board. Asking $20,000 for it in this condition is Wormwood Motors level dealership bullshit. 

It definitely could get there. It’s at $30,500 now, which is close to the price where I’d be out because of the work needed and the cost of whatever body I wanted to put on it. 

Hell yes. He could have gotten the R Kelly experience for the rest of the flight. Sorry bud, but you’re between me and the toilet and I don’t have an extra pair of pants with me.

I hope somebody stole his seat when he got up to take a piss. 

Nothing gets the job done quite like proper lubrication.

That’s a great point. These chassis-cab trucks were built for upfitting with commercial bodies. It’s perfect for slapping on a reefer or dump box. Anything less sturdy than that is gonna have a bad time. 

I’ll bet the seller thought they’d get a lot more than what this will likely end at. The thing is, these early 6.0 Powerstrokes were basket cases from the factory. They required damn near complete rebuilds in order to keep running, and you’ll see ads for these trucks saying the engine has been bulletproofed. This…

An Audi with heartbreak mileage AND water damage for a mere $15k? What a bargain! No freaking dice. 

Sadly, I expect Fucker will launch his own media brand. He was halfway there with his “documentary” series on Fox. He has the numbers and likely the cash to do it. A lot of his Fox audience will follow him wherever he metastasizes next. 

Wow, Fox will have to go deep into their reserve of racist smirking fail child dickwads who will say anything for money to fill that gap in the nightly lineup.