It's an existential shout of the joy of life mixed with the knowledge of its misery.

I read the 'tee hee hee,' of course, as a falsetto TEE-heehee. Followed by a crotch grab.

Have you never heard Rihanna sing?

But like ... it's his life? He can do what he wants?

He has moments when he's giving interviews that you can see a very sweet, very shy person somewhere in there, and I'd like to see that in a movie role. That said, he is also great at looking and sounding like an ass in interviews. (But considering I would be complete shit at giving interviews and word vomit and…

I nearly shot right off the treadmill this morning while reading Fran Lebowitz's discourse on laundering and dry cleaning. That woman is my everything.

YES BUT WHAT IS FRAN LEBOWITZ'S OPINION ON IT BECAUSE I DON'T MAKE IMPORTANT FASHION DECISIONS WITHOUT HER

Your having dated and unquestionably "crazy bitch" calls into intense focus the very real possibility that you either have shit for brains, are crazy yourself, or think with only your penis. Your new girlfriend is not likely to find any of those implicit characteristics laudable. Unless she's a crazy bitch, that is.

Really?

I happen to know a lot more about it than you.

Bullshit. Ellen is amazing.

first of all: stop saying "my piece"; you sound like an idiot.

I hate being pedantic*, but the cashier isn't the barista, the barista is the one making the custom coffee drinks (as opposed to just pouring hot coffee), although sometimes they will switch roles.

Yeah but my house has one major advantage over Kylie Jenner's: no Kardashians or Jenners live in my house.

The things you care about are stupid, care about real things.

God, there are plenty of people on the right just as bad or worse as Cruz ideologically, but I don't think any of them are as repulsive in every aspect as he is. No one else has that constant simpering jerks-off-in-a-mirror expression or that "I'm so taken with my own cleverness I can barely form a sentence" delivery.…

CoverGirl is the only brand that doesn't make foundation/tinted moisturizer/etc that work on most East Asian skintones. Everything else works well though. However, I haven't bought CG since I was 25. I mostly get my make-up at Sephora. Yeah, I'm VIBRouge.

In fact, Sephora dropped Von D's line in 2012 after consumers spoke up about the lipstick name, citing how disrespectful it was to the disabled. It's surprising, therefore, that the wholesome Sephora brand, instead of bringing back Demeter products in all of its store that I can one again smell like a combination of a…

I personally think this entire season has been dropdead funny (people have different senses of humor!) but definitely the selling point on the show is their fabulous female friendship. We really don't ever get to see a relationship like that between women. So refreshing and honest and gross and perfect.

Also my best…

"For the record, Madam Secretary was under the impression that other State Department employees were keeping records of her real body on their own accounts, so was not under the impression that she needed to retain it for this picture."