Just let insurance cover fire damage. How many toasters catch fire spontaneously?

For Oral you should first always start with champagne on the side. Take a gulp in your mouth and slowly kiss your partners vagina/penis it not only feels super but helps with the taste.

Boy, he really tarnished his legacy. I don’t feel bad for him though, he was just there at that time, anyone in his post would have been hailed a hero too.

I just buy nachos with chicken and extra jalapeños. It’s less of a hassle, plus I don’t have to pick up shit for the rest of its life.

Kylie Jenner already has an order for it.

No dum dum we will be using bitcoin by that time. 🙄😒

I only date men with a score above 820 and over 60 yrs old. Who like to go skydiving.

HERMÉS TERRE D’HERMÉS

Some old lady in my office stinks like baby powder I’m pretty sure she uses it on her cooter. I wonder if she knows that it causes mesothelioma

No, laundry detergent smells terrible. Tide, snuggles. Barf. Specially when you are in the sun and the clothes gets warm.

Barf! This woman in my office smells like a fucking cinnamon bun with brown sugar and vanilla frosting because she uses a body spray from bath and body works. It gives us all headaches. Cheapest smelling scent ever. Why would anyone want to stink like food?

You can put warm cranberry juice inside for a cleanse, right?

Put selsun blue on your tenea veriscolor, leave it on for 10 minutes then rinse. Do it for two weeks and it will go away.

You are a lunatic for owning a pit bull or pit bull mix. Please keep your animal on a leash at all times in public and make sure it cannot get out of your house. Have fun, lunatic!

What if your dog is racist? Should you tell the person who is trying to meet him/her?

What about Manscara?

That’s because that bitch is talking to the NSA about to spill your biz. They have pixel recognition built into the display, think of it like Shazam for your tv picture. They can tell what you watching regardless of input signal wether it be your cable box, air, Apple by, rocku, DVD, porn, stream anything.

That’s because that bitch is talking to the NSA about to spill your biz. They have pixel recognition built into the…

If you are making bank just hire an “escort” for play time. If you want more just remember, He is going to divorce you anyway and take half your money. What’s wrong with being a lifelong bachelorette? Get that D.

Do you think he has ever had anal sex? I mean even just the tip?

Why not just buy another black suit to combine with the blue and charcoal.