Omg it’s an animal! In the eyes of the law it’s considered property. So not only do you have to pick up its shit for the rest of its life like it was a cripple , now it needs a fancy restraint device. The police should be able to give you a massive ticket if hey see your precious snowflake on your lap while driving…

Two years ago I got a text message from a person who sent me sexy texts and naked pictures of a Hollywood tv actor, the pictures looked real and were taken in a nice bedroom. The pics were taken on an iPhone with the location feature on because when I saved them to my phone, on the camera roll they showed the location…

I BOUGHT MINE FROM

I BOUGHT MINE FROM

NAH! THEY ARE GOING TO PICK AN UNFLATERRING PIC OF YOU SO THAT YOU DONT GET AS MUCH DICK AS THEY DO. ITS EVOLUTION. ITS ABOUT GETTING MORE DICK THAN ANYONE ELSE.

Hey lady, I keep my tools in my toolbox like a man.

Then why does my office smell like stank poon-tang around the 8th of every month? Is it just he use of cheap tampons or insufficient douching?

REDACTED

I thought all those cars came standard everything bells and whistles included.

Do you wear bling?

Blow is on a Porsche 918.

Bruh? You gonna fuck it? Who cares what it looks like you’re not reproducing with it.

Why would you need to know how fast you are going when the car is driving itself?

I’ll have my secretary call.

Bish there is wealthy people in DF too! They probably have more money than you. Use common sense. Don’t do shit you wouldn’t do in your town.

BETTERNET

BETTERNET

That’s nasty. What next? Drinking a beer while doing an enema in the bath tub to get ready for the Anal sex later?

Pizza from Mcdonalds in OHiO

I only use LUXARDO CHERRIES from Italy $20 a jar.

Does anyone else have a douche system in their shower and uses it on the daily before going to work?

You must also like undouched tossed salad.