My asshole just clenched up remembering the last time I did this...and now I farted. It is such an awful feeling.

Japan, just two generations ago, literally invaded Korea, kidnapped and raped women, and never truly apologized. But sure, crazy to think that anyone could be offended.

‘Up next, NBC’s Olympic Womens Figure Skating analysts, Matt Lauer and Billy Bush.’

Christian Fauria has some free time, maybe NBC could hire him for his insights into Asians.

He looked mildly excited to be playing today.

If the Patriots had won I’m sure you would have entered a wonderful thoughtpiece on the brilliance of benching Malcolm Butler so go fuck yourself.

If the Patriots had won I’m sure you would have entered a wonderful thoughtpiece on the brilliance of benching Malcolm Butler so go fuck yourself.

Hmmm. The Eagles didn’t have their starting quarterback, left tackle, and their most versatile running back. Yet they went punch-for-punch with the greatest quarterback of all time—a QB who earned that distinction in part because of his ability to function seamlessly no matter who he’s had to throw to.

I guess it’s fitting that I’m reading this on the can.

I haven’t seen a Christian be that racist since the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics.

Kinja is so fucked. I can’t log into my account on my phone, which means I only comment when I’m at work or late at night when I’m drunk (hello!), which means I’m probably going to get fired, but if I was going to get fired it would probably have happened when I looked at Greg Oden’s cock on my work computer. Or…

A dick so big that Deadspin dedicated (or is that ‘dic-tated’) all three ‘Related Stories’ links to the same Conner Barwin’s “I seen it!” article.

One of the greatest sportsmen America has ever produced, up there with Ruth, Jordan, Aaron, Gretzky. And to Deadspin he’s a fart cos his goopy stretching program is heavy on hydration.

I’ve lurked for years, and this, this is the comment that finally compelled me to create a burner account to offer a +1.

If this doesn’t get 500 stars then shame on us all

So real question: If you are Trump’s doctor, who —in the next couple weeks— is supposed to give him an annual physical, and it is clear from his interactions that he doesn’t remember how to button his shirt or not shit his pants, what do you do?? Report obvious symptoms that are undiagnosed? Refer to a neurologist…

Man, this guy can’t even live up to his name. Using racial slurs is the easiest way to draw people’s attention to your identity.

Let us now put to bed the fallacy that Romo is a good announcer. This was my first experience with him and, my god, is he terrible. Just endlessly trips over his dick to put in strong analysis that is constantly off base. His squeals of delight, while somewhat reminiscent of Gus Johnson, are nowhere near as endearing.

Ashley Wagner is furious, Johnny Weir is fabulous. I am ready for the Olympics.