a google search has borne this new information:

• Around $75,000

Random stranger: "Smile"

Once I was having a terrible day and some guy in a Confederate flag t-shirt told me to "smile, gorgeous." I hissed at him like a cat and he literally ran away.
I suddenly began having a wonderful day! Thanks, Cletus, wherever you are. Stop telling women what to do with their faces.

I had wandered away from my wife at the grocery store (I was distracted by Easter candy) and some shithead told her to "smile, so I can see how pretty you are" while she was looking at the frozen food. I walked back over just in time to hear her tell him to eat a bag of sweaty dicks. I love that woman.

Or we could leave strangers alone. I just don't feel it's my place to tell anyone I don't know to consider altering their facial expression. You also don't know their situation. For me, I glare because I'm squinting to see, no one needs to tell me what's up.

Sean Penn is a spousal abusing piece of shit. He's on my permanent boycott list along with Charlie Sheen and Chris Brown.

I find it hilarious that someone as anti-2nd Amendment as Sean Penn is in a movie called The Gunman.

I'm sorry, is he wearing a Joy Division t-shirt?

I don't know if I can watch this. I loved her, but I have a hard time listening to her music without crying.

True story: when I took my AP History exam, a girl I totally had the hots for was sitting behind me. It was a hot late-May day, so I was wearing shorts and sneakers with no socks. Because I was a Very Serious Student, I was hunched over the test, with my legs tucked under the chair. About an hour into the test, I felt…

He's probably from a state that knows the difference between "your" and "you're".

There's a difference between delaying getting married and trying to destroy marriage as a cultural institution.

My future husband is very into Spanish Soccer - specifically the National team and Real Madrid. So, we're having mini replica Spanish jerseys as our table numbers. I don't know if it is a theme per se, but it is pretty perplexing to my day of coordinator that our table numbers don't go in order.

I have told my boyfriend that we will get married if and when the Maple Leafs ever win the Stanley Cup.

I was buying some sanitary towels for my wife and daughter at the local grocery store one time and the young man packing made what I thought was a rather inappropriate comment "I guess these aren't for you then man? hur, hur" to which my response was "Well actually yes they are. I find they make excellent beer mats as…

The best reason for not making jokes about PMS-rage, I ever heard, was a theory, that the mood swings are caused by women's androgen (testosterone, androstenedione etc.) levels or ratio (can't remember the details - endocrinology is crazy complicated) briefly approached men's, so basically when women are acting…

I DID NOT KNOW THIS WAS HAPPENING. WHAT A LUCKY BASTARD.

That is nightmare fuel.

Have you tried telling them that if they were going down on a clit like the good lord intended they wouldn't have to spew such vile gender-based crap all the time?