My ring is made out of organically-grown, free-range lentils and the artisans who made it actually paid me to take it off their hands.

"The NFL turned to sixth alternate Joe Flacco, but he declined because his wife is expecting their third child."

I hereby protest this lousy hockey team by tossing the jersey I paid $85 for (before customization, which was another $50) on to your ice! This of course does not count the $110 I spent on the game ticket to get into the arena, the $20 to park my car, and the other $25 I spent on booze to work up the nerve to toss the…

People who did not grow up in a Catholic Country will never get how COMPLETELY amazing this is, and how they never thought they would see this in their lifetimes. My husband grew up in Ireland, and things like the Nicea decree were just unbelievable to the Protestants. Never mind talking about divorce and birth…

This is huge. Really. It's an acknowledgement of the modern world. For all his flaws, this is the first pope we have that seems to have advanced beyond the fifteenth century. Bravo.

I'll add that it's much more subtle to glance at your watch when you're in a meeting or talking to someone than it is to whip your phone out and check it. If you're in a professional/corporate setting, this can be the difference between moving up the ranks and being thought of as a d-bag.

I would like anti-gay groups to recuse themselves from the world in general. Do I get a say?

So I totally thought that the wife and SIL were having a lesbian affair with each other and I kept waiting for that reveal as I read through this. Then I realized that they were each cheating with someone else, not together, and well...the story got infinitely more "normal" and boring. lol.

"I think I've heard it all at this point," he said with a laugh.

We are all Kvshton

First league investigation of improperly deflated balls that didn't involve PED use.

"Good luck with that."

Another thing, the owner runs it kind of like a cult and has leaked private contact information of reviewers to her fans. She did this to Temptalia, leaking her private (not work) email to the LimeCrime fans to go harass her. It's not a good company. There's other stuff too like her copying people, faking charity…

She's been performing since she was 13. Safe to assume she earned it.

One time I went to a Sarah Brightman concert and rushed the stage during her encore and she kissed and hugged me and then security was all "you have to go young man" and she was all "it's cool" and kissed me again and I gave her flowers and was pretty much the coolest person ever for at least five minutes during my…

Office surveillance can only record video not audio and post a sign saying you have cameras. (Just translating your law jargon) Learned that stuff in college while studying criminal law. My part time job at the time .......Delivering pizzas.

I met the Johnson family when they were my service customers at the BMW dealer where I worked. Jack Jr seemed like a really nice, easygoing guy, just the opposite of how you'd expect a professional athlete/Olympian to act. His parents, on the other hand, acted like the worst kind of self-entitled jerks. His mother's…

Impressed with their ability to enrich themselves on the backs of others and to exploit a professional hockey player relentlessly, Gary Bettman has offered the Johnsons an expansion franchise.

I was really close friends with a guy named Aaron in my early 20's. Aaron and I had that rare chemistry that allowed us to be friends without and pretense of romance. Aarons girlfriend had just gone into boot camp with the Army when he and I met and I'd really only met her through the random phone call and occasional…

It is amazing how many people miss that 500 days of Summer is a critique of treating women like Manic Pixie Dream Girls. Tom loves her as an idea, not as a person, and that's why it all falls apart.