This looks painfully unfunny. Plus it comes out 3 weeks after Age of Ultron, 1 week after Mad Max: Fury Road, and the same week as Tomorrowland. Screams flop. Which is, ironically, what Melissa is doing on the poster.

Which is possible for me, because I haven't married crazy and still have my penis, unlike Mr. Lung.

You can probably cut a dick off with just about anything, if you're patient enough.

I was going to say the lesson is don't cheat, just get your divorce. But then I thought, if she was crazy enough to cut his penis off for cheating, she'd probably mess him up for divorcing her, too.

I'm not running for president. Except I wrote a book, and I'm doing the thing I said a presidential candidate needs to do to win. She's going to run.

Wow, even the sound design was great. Solid work!

I've seen enough dicks on the internet to know Sweden is very foreskin friendly.

It can't be, he said the penis has a hat.

Am I naive in hoping that Teresa Giudice might actually learn something and come out a better person?

If it's literally the only option for even one, that's too many.

Probably the part where any person feels that the only way they can afford an education is by trading their "companionship" for money. AKA the whole thing.

...that means that only about 2 percent of female students signed up.