Gluten-free pizza is an abomination. Even if you actually have celiac disease, you should eat a real pizza and suffer the miserable consequences, or just do without. There is no acceptable middle ground.

He's so good at damage control that he got that baby conceived a whole month before all that damage happened this April.

I'm pretty hype.

Don't forget this gem.

Beyoncé told Jay Z to lose weight because she is worried about his health. See, that's Bey for you. Always thinking about your cholesterol.

Your facetiousness radar is spot on.

But she's a Nobel Newbie! He's passed the Wood Anniversary, and she's not even at paper!

Um, Ms. Yousafzai, President Obama has had his own Peace Prize for a good 6 years now, he doesn't need you to tell him how to world peace, thanks.

The day you hope for a ratings boost from Rosie O'Donnell is the day you know you're done.

And charisma, don't forget that!

I heard it specializes in kosher hot dogs. And yes, in case anyone is wondering, this is a circumcised penis joke.

Shade? This? Naw, not shade. Just spurned lover not yet over it.

Sydney Leathers is a 25-year-old Radio/TV Broadcasting major/occasional porn star who lives at home with her two cats in southern Indiana.

Your link to The Journal now says "Reports later on this evening, however, suggest that they were able to set aside the earlier cancellation, and did in fact meet in Milan, although several hours later than agreed."

Nope, in those 31 states 16 is the blanket minimum. In those states, any "Romeo and Juliet" laws would protect, say, a relationship between a 15 year old an a 19 year old.

Here's the thing that gets me. In the United States, the age of consent for sexual intercourse is 16 as per the federal government and in 31 states. So, in these 31 states, a 16 year old and a 60 year old can plow each other to their hearts content. But no pictures, though, that's the thing that's wrong.

"What I can tell you is over the last three and a half years, I spent a lot of my days on the phones with CEOs and recruiting jobs to this state. I can honestly say I have not had one conversation with a single CEO about the Confederate flag."

Bless you.

Just think of it as a small sacrifice you make for the good of society!

Yoga pants are God's gift to humanity, you eff off!