Now I'm sure he didn't go in dry. Probably just tapped it back there a little.

I think he slipped, and accidentally "knocked on the back door".

"Wait, Danny, Danny, that doesn't go there!"

This is why all of our children need real, comprehensive, sexual education in schools.

A little part of me is always conflicted when I see the Statute of David and his very un-Jewish penis.

That's disappointing. If anyone wants a mind-boggling Christian film to watch, may I suggest The Persecuted? It's a Christian-Murder-Mystery-Political-Thriller, with ham-fisted symbolism (one character has a literal moral compass, while looking at a literal golden calf) and an gloriously incoherent plot.

Now he charges $25 for the first hour of waiting and $10 every half-hour after that.

One things for sure, it had a lot less AIDS. And that's a coincidence too strong to ignore.

What can I say, it's half luck, half skill, half timing.

I mean...that doll does want cock, right?

'You'd get married men just wanting fun and you'd get people saying, "I just need someone for one night, can you do me a favour?"

That's called "wherever you lay your ass down".

No, but you can wipe it down with a non-alcohol based cleaner and it'll be "good to go".

So what you're saying is America 2 -Africa 0?

But couldn't I just spend $0, and not do any yoga?

I hope the mats gain consciousness, and demand not to be Yogaed on by their owners. Like Her, but way less interesting.

My personal re-write of this article:

My advice: Get a divorce. Life without 69 is a life not worth living.

Rush, this gigantic Ebola outbreak in America is revenge for white people creating and spreading AIDS in Africa the '80's. Get it straight, geez.