Gunpowder was an essential part of my childhood cannon. Actually, I don't think it was a childhood cannon, I think it was just a regular cannon.

Really? What a dorc.

So what happened there? I always wondered why they didn't work together any more.

I visited Seattle about 15 years ago, and there was a cable public access show that showed hardcore porn in the wee hours of the night. I was staying in a hotel and woke up a 3 in the morning and that was on, and I did one of the following:

I wouldn't say impossible. The way to know for sure is to cut one open.

Made. It. Up.

It's got that same sort of "sneaky motherfuckers getting caught being motherfucking sneaky" vibe that Shattered Glass has. I love both films.

Yes, I was told that my wife, uhhh, Morgan Fairchild! Acting!

Of course it's annoying as hell, it's supposed to be. Sarsgaard is the audience surrogate when he says "I really wish you'd STOP SAYING THAT!"

I enjoyed that. Thank you.

We need more bourt license plates in the gift shop.

Oh well, there's always your own grandmother(s).

This time tomorrow
Where will we be?
Buying some reefer
At Nick Lachey's dispensaryyyyyyyy

"I ated too much Star Trek!"

I watched Into Darkness with trepidation a couple of months ago, and was surprised to find myself enjoying the shit out of it. I may have just been in the right mood and if I watched it again I might not enjoy it as much, but it certainly seemed alright to me.

That reminds me of Kaptain Kool and the Kongs, so if they could have musical interludes dressed in outrageous '70s "glam" outfits, that would be perfect. Since they're Klingons, though, of course it would just end up sounding like GWAR.

No, they go "WOOOOOOOOOO!"

Obviously the main reason that King hated Kubrick's Shining adaptation is that he envisioned Charles Grodin in the lead role. Or a morose Warren Beatty.

Those Be-at-ulls, I didn't think much of their music, what with their off-key caterwauling on the old Ed Sullivan show, but when they were done they took a little bow. Say what you want, but those boys had class.

Maybe he's not the Bad Santa, maybe now he's a security expert and he's contracted by the government to take down the new Bad Santa because he's the only one with the necessary skills.