Mine too.

Who has Five Guys? Great greasy-ass burgers and fries. The last one I went into didn't do this, but are there still any that serve free roasted peanuts in the shell and encourage guests to toss the empty shells on the floor? "Five Guys: Got peanut allergies? Fuck you!"

I am crestfallen.

Is that a "crazy Puerto Rican friend" or a "crazy public relations friend"? I'd really like to think it's the latter. Pictures of Ronald McDonald flashing gang signs could be a PR nightmare for Mickey D's, so maybe your friend worked for Burger King or Wendy's.

Not impossible. They were released on DVD, but not anamorphic. If the discs with the theatrical releases were anamorphic, I wouldn't be complaining at all, although original theatrical releases on blu ray would sure be nice.

Two. The answer is two. Unless she was in the last one that I didn't see.

Right you are!

I want a Christmas ornament with Bill Murray winking on it. One of those lenticular hologram things. Make this happen, Universe.

Me too, but now I'm even more ready.

Merry Fucking Christmas!

Peter Quill.

I appreciate it, but that was a pretty lame joke. The joke I'm most proud of that I've made on the AV Club comments was a Newswire item about Eddie Brill, David Letterman's comedy booker, getting fired for booking male comedians and not wanting to book females, and I said that this resulted from his complete…

Grown-up Danica McKellar, not like tween-age Winnie Cooper, right? Because ew.

Say, who else when they hear "Mini-Cooper" they think of Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years? And when I think of Winnie Cooper, I think of a "Winnie-Cooper," which is an imaginary hybrid of a Winnebago and a Mini-Cooper. I like to think of it as a little Winnebago the size of a Mini-Cooper. Impractical, but…

He Mini-Coopered the entire night? That's crazy!

"It's not faiah! Hiss girlfriend cut off huh toe!"

It's a horror movie, it's not supposed to be realistic!

I've never met Taylor Negron in person, but I was Facebook friends with him shortly before he died because he was friends with a friend of mine, and I was like, what the hell, I'll send him a friend request. I mentioned his role as the liquor store clerk in The Stoned Age, and he was very open and gracious and…

A friend of mine who also agrees with me that it's better than Dazed and Confused thinks it's because Dazed and Confused is about the cool kids and The Stoned Age is about losers. I don't disagree, but I just think The Stoned Age is better because it has a plot and character development, and it's funny as opposed to…

[Holding a gallon jug of peppermint schnapps] "C'mon, this shit'll get six fat chicks all William Holden-style fucked up!"