Texas is actually old Florida, before Florida became, you know, FLORIDA. Sometime in the 1980s the ascendancy of Florida man was complete and America’s penis became the bastion of batshittery you see today, but before that Texas was a strong contender. 

omg so hot, do you think they are docking more than just the plane in the photo? ;)

oh dammit I thought it was McDermott too and the header image was super confusing. 

When I heard about this I genuinely went out of my way to see every episode

I love the cavalcade of moron “chefs” that pretend they make a PERFECT 50-lbs. burger that’s pitch-black on the outside, but entirely raw in the middle.

Pretty much this, I don’t want an 8 inch tall burger you have to smash into oblivion just to eat.

I went through the BK drive through the other day and the ad at the window was for their chicken sandwich I think. And I’m almost positive it’s photoshopped. Because there’s no way the woman in the photo can open her mouth that wide. I could even see the part where it looked like her bottom lips were curling under was…

I don’t care what it costs. This needs to happen.

‘urinating on his brother’ before massive fist fight

I look forward to Barry’s new catchphrase: “How about a nice Hawaiian Punch?”

It’s a new hellmouth opening. Duh.

Try ‘pustulent’.

Purulent is the adjective you’re looking for.  

I declare “pus-y” an abomination

So we’ve had this guy wrong the whole time...

pus-engorged

I need a ruling from Volunteer Proofreader if it’s valid to turn pus-filled into a compound phrase like that.

Just write pus-filled.

my sister and I watched the movie together and cackled through the whole thing.

Dan Olsen actually did a really great video about exactly this, why the ‘slime’ fear is kinda rubbish, and why Jamie has some weird obsession about it.