He was sure.

Cue some gif of someone saluting a thing dramatically.

I know a guy who used to run a movie theater. Once they found where someone had taken a dump on a candy wrapper and left it on the floor.

I don’t like the creamed corn they sell at this movie theater, it’s too crunchy.

Yeah, but then it becomes a big sequence of the women being front and center just to carry a man around, and that ain’t a great look either.

Yeah, if it hadn’t stuck in my teeth (probably a side-effect of splitting the jellybean in half, I’ll admit) and I was able to spit it out as soon as I tasted it, that would have been one thing. But vomit’s bad enough just passing through. Having it trapped in your mouth and unable to get rid of it without effort just…

It was the Power Stone.

See, my first thought was this guy showing up wasted probably caught the bartender’s attention — people like that, even before they start harassing other patrons, tend to start trouble, and if cops get called they rarely believe “He was drunk when he came in officer, we didn’t serve him, I swear.” Especially if it’s…

I’ve got two, both of which are a little less dramatic than most of these so they kind of add up to one good one.

Alright, finally a chance to sit down today and share...

Not gonna deny, even knowing that Tesla’s had all sorts of problems with their cars, this still feels a little too perfect of a catch to be real. Something about it seems fake, to me.

Because I am a colossal dork, inspired by some conversations I’ve had about the show, I’ve decided to nominate a single scene/sequence in each of these episodes for a “LARP Momnent,” where these moments are practically scenes out of a Vampire: The Masquerade LARP brought to life.

Because I am a colossal dork, inspired by some conversations I’ve had about the show, I’ve decided to nominate a single scene/sequence in each of these episodes for a “LARP Momnent,” where these moments are practically scenes out of a Vampire: The Masquerade LARP brought to life.

Because I am a colossal dork, inspired by some conversations I’ve had about the show, I’ve decided to nominate a single scene/sequence in each of these episodes for a “LARP Momnent,” where these moments are practically scenes out of a Vampire: The Masquerade LARP brought to life.

Because I am a colossal dork, inspired by some conversations I’ve had about the show, I’ve decided to nominate a single scene/sequence in each of these episodes for a “LARP Momnent,” where these moments are practically scenes out of a Vampire: The Masquerade LARP brought to life.

I’ve always heard it said that in restaurants like this, the trick is to say “Give me what you would consider hot.” and they’ll get the hint.

McDonald’s would probably do the McRib year-round except that it’s only really worth it financially when pork prices are low.

I wonder if the ramen powder works better if you’re distributing it among a stupid-large tub of butter. Though even if not, it still mixes pretty well with sour cream for an improvised chip dip. So that’s something.

Or, for that matter, Thor spending pretty much all of Ragnarok learning that he doesn’t really need the hammer, and then the moment things go badly for him, he takes off to the ass-end of the universe to get another one.

I’ve heard ‘a dollar per guest per day that they clean’ most-commonly suggested, adjusted upwards if you leave a messy room. I traditionally do $5 per day, myself. With some more thrown in on the last day if I have to leave something obnoxious to get rid of like an empty box or something like that.