If it wasn’t for aggressively stupid customers there wouldn’t be nearly the demand there is for food service.

i have a “vegetarian” coworker who continues to eat fish. and the one time i made the mistake of asking her if she was a pescatarian, apparently she thought i was calling her something dirty. the silver lining is that she doesn’t talk to me anymore and that’s fine with me

I wrap it up and hand it over. A few minutes later, he comes back and says, “You forgot the chicken salad on my sandwich!”

It bothers me that every November, my vote counts for the same as someone who thinks a burned steak doesn’t count against being vegetarian. That just feels wrong.

I think that one deserves the full face palm mosaic.

it’s a drink composed of coffee, unsalted butter, and coconut oil extract.

Yeah, I missed that the father was there too. I should have just said the “parent’s” fault.

I am the mother of a child with Aspergers. Though he’s quite chill and polite now, he alternated between an angel and a fucking monster from the time he was born until he was four. Lest you think I’m exaggerating, he exasperated pretty much anyone who had to deal with him during one of his meltdowns.

I work at a library, so you can bet that I feel your pain.

My wife and I consistently have discussions as to whether it’s worth going out to eat with our 2 and 4 year old kids. It’s a crap-shoot at this age. Sometimes they’re happy and distractable and other times they’re fairly inconsolable.

I’d like to think that there is a BCO-worthy story of what went on backstage in that Pizza Hut that caused diners to wait over an hour for their pizzas. Sinkholes in the kitchen floor, tweaked-out line cooks wielding cleavers, dragons nesting in the mozzarella tub? I wanna know.

The difference between a restaurant called “Grill” and a “Grille” is few dollars more for the same food.

I had a cat named Chairman Meow. She was great, and would not have liked this.

my cat brought me a spider once and I practically hit the ceiling so now I think he knows not to bring me “real” hunts

I wish she would bring me stuffed. This is the face of a cold blooded, mocking killer.

I’m pretty sure even most housecats would give you a dead mouse, because hey, you need to eat too.