Pieces like this are why I come to Deadspin. Well, that and the wealth of hilarity from Magary.

That right there is the saddest part in all of this. Who now will succeed to the Rangers’ clubhouse position of fucking with Adrian Beltre on a daily basis?

Shit, if he wasn’t trying, I’m kind of disappointed in him. He owns that world record. What better way to put the exclamation point on it by shattering the damned thing? Not like anybody in this field was capable of breaking it anyways, and that includes Gatlin.

My personal favorite is “chemistry is not an exact science”.

Granted, I’m a Man U supporter, but that exhibition at Emirates was ridiculous. I can see why Liverpool guys would be nervous.

And now neither keeper is exactly stopping anything, with it currently 3-4 in favor of Liverpool in the 78th minute.

And herein lies where your assumption falls apart.

Exactly my point. It WAS collusion, then, if you ask the question of what they caught him with was blatant cheating or because it had been prescribed to him to keep him in remission. Connections can only go so far, but look at it from a PR perspective:

Ain’t nobody ever pass up an opportunity to see some free titties...

Eh, just your typical social justice warrior who’s easily offended because they lost their sense of humor around the time puberty hit.

Wow, someone’s projecting. I make an observation about a woman with a big nose having a BIG FUCKING NOSE, and apparently your internet skillz say that’s being misogynist.

At about 350m, the timers were like, “Fuck it. Who cares?”

And we still never got a slate of nominees for 2015.

Wow, if I just triggered you based on an honest assessment of one’s nose, I’d hate to see how you’d melt down over criticizing someone’s shoe size.

You what I find interesting in all of this? The fact that he was never caught. Now, whether that was due to collusion or incompetence, we’ll never truly know, but I personally think he was clean for all seven runs.

Yeah, you’re definitely from Philly. The delusion that this piece was even remotely a good idea on your part is proof of this.

I’ll raise you the BBC coverage. It’s hilarious listening to the commentators bitch about the Brazilian commentators who won’t shut up whenever the officials call for quiet.

Perhaps you should be watching the action of women’s field hockey, particularly the current undefeated run of the US team? They had the #2 and #3 ranked teams in the world (AUS and ARG) in their pool, and had convincing wins in both matches.

The problem there is that the keyboard warriors post so much inane shit that the competent writers here look like they’ve written pieces that should automatically be lumped together with the classics.

And meanwhile, the Brazilian announcers don’t know when to shut the fuck up when their countrymen and women are lining up for a start. The announcers on the BBC have been getting progressively more pissed each time it happens. That has caused at least one wave off for a start in the past two nights.