There’s a nonprofit that makes exactly that happen. The fact that you think taking a few months learning tech is impossible for a Southerner is...not precious.

John Tesh > Daniel Tosh.

I like Lagunitas, but their IPA is nothing special. Worse is he’s trying to namedrop with that. Lagunitas is the official Good Beer in the lobby of your nearest Courtyard Inn. Big fucking deal.

It was easier to get murdered back in the day.

I mean, I’ve actually helped, does that count?

No, but neither has Curt, he can’t even figure out how to donate money on Amazon.

Yeah. I really, really, really want to be hopefult that he’s doing the right thing, but I fully expect a hidden camera there to expose someone who simultaneously needs bottled water and owns a cell phone.

About five times a day I get the urge to say, in a serious, rushed voice, “liver or kidney problems.”

I don’t care whether it’s campaigning. There’s nothing wrong with it.

Are you...are you bragging that you own a TV?

I really just wanted to see what would happen.

“...the craziness of it all.”

I’d lose my PPV virginity to watch either of those.

At least make a macro or something.

Deadspin’s law:

Other than the emergency exit thing, I see this constantly. From people ages 40-65.

Not to be a sycophant, you’re in the top ten for pure investigative journalism.

Not giving a fuck is all we’re asking for, though.

I travel a lot for work. Instead of asking the front desk where to go, I ask them where they’d take a friend if they were only in town for a few hours. You get much better answers because it evokes memories of actual good times they’ve had.

Eh. You never know. There’s a sixth rounder in Boston who does well.