Thanks, Derpy McDerpington!

Starred because I have actually broken into a radio station to yell “MEAAAAAT.”

Can I not edit in here all of a sudden? I mean to say I stop drinking six-eight hours before sleep.

Yep, this is what I do. I stop drinking six hours before I land, then I wait until night time at my destination and then simply go to bed.

Also, fine, throw the pass. Passing happens! But the player wouldn’t have even crossed the goal line anyway before being tackled, which means the biggest tangible benefit to the pass (clock stops for free, thus providing an extra play) was impossible.

Who the fuck works in a non-marketing industry and bothers fucking with the font on a regular basis? I used to, to get away from ugly-ass Times New Roman, but that’s it.

The behavior of the customer is awful, but my vote is on 30-minute wait for hummus and salad. Is there a reason a pita with some olive oil on it can’t be done pre-made with 60 seconds in a microwave to top things off?

But that's the thing! Houston isn't even good at strip clubs! They make the dancers wear pasties.

I tried reading some of it aloud to my girlfriend and my brain truly couldn't make the words come out of my mouth. It was like a program internally handling an error and silent-quitting.

Almost makes including “MSU grad” redundant.

Ironically, everything outside the parenthetical is superfluous or specious.

So are you using a power line spliced from Pennsylvania or something? How are you even reading and responding to this, you fucking dirt farmer?

Great point, but no stars (until now) because too many on Jalopnik get sad at Rush jokes.

Yep. Also, how much haggling is there for any new luxury car? I’m in the age buckets you’re referring to (30,) good but not great at dealmaking, and the result of haggling on my 428 was all-weather mats. Woo.

HOOZAGUHBOY?!

How are the grandkids?

Because back in the early 2000s, it was hard to get pure molly, it was always mixed with a bunch of other things.

Then leave. There is not a serious place in society that will entertain the idea of Trump as president.

Yeah. If.

What was the Korean War like?