I hope you don’t get an endless parade of “what does this have to do with cars” comments, because this is the kind of quality longform journalism which I love to see on Jalopnik. Thanks, Ryan.

Wow, that’s really fuck up.

Have you passed on your idea of Statutory Grape to FCA? I bet that they’d use it. They already offer a color called Contusion Blue for the Challenger. On the other hand, they nixed my suggestion of Gang Green, so. . .

While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 10 mph over), I
noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge. The cop
pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, “What’s the hurry?

I replied, “I’m late for work.”

Oh yeah,” said the cop, “what do you do?”

“I’m a rectum stretcher.” I…

Ban shredded cheese!

Park it tangent to the curve at the point closest to the level surface f(x,y)=x^2+3y^4

Now, after all of this, it is easy for me to get a little nostalgic, even for the 1992 Pontiac Bonneville. You could get it with a powerful supercharged 3.8 liter V6, it was roomy, and the ride and handling was not horrible. Much of what we long for today in new cars—size and comfort without pretentiousness—is here in…

I’m sure she’s been dragged around the block a few times.

“Pfft. Amateur.”

“The first rule of Italian racing -What’s behind me isn’t important” - The Gumball Rally.

It’s all about the Bennies, baby.

The driver in the car..... “WHAT THE FUCK YOU FILMING IN PORTRAIT FOR”

“Man, he sure is burning oil. And his belts are screeching something terrible!”

So much hype around the Dodge Demon and yet this Nissan Maxima is clearly a hell of a drag racer.

I guess with 2 fully loaded trailers a 3500lbs maxima won’t make too much of a difference.

But Bernie Sanders will save us all!

This is the almost perfect car that I want to buy my son when he is ready to drive. All it needs is a manual transmission. He will then be forced to work on it (inadvertently have to ask me for help and spend time with me) and learning how to wrench on vehicles is a valuable life skill. I think knowing how to drive a…

I saw one that read ”IIIIIIIII”.

Well I agree with this article there are very few exceptions for those in certain circumstances.

Either way though, either these 'teenagers' were 13 year old girls, or they're a bunch of pussies.