You ain’t kidding. I drove my buddy’s Kia Rio in 2002, and the dang thing didn’t have a radio or power steering. In a car made this century!

A little late, but I agree with “cramyourname” below (above?). A short, 1 sentence summary isn’t bad, but mostly pointless. I can get a summary by skimming your work history. There are three main things that will help you immensely if you’re applying for a job with me:

A-feckin-men. Give me the facts of what you did. As short as possible. Don’t write a novel. If I want you to elaborate, I’ll ask. Anything too cutesy is immediately sent to file 13.

Why isn’t that trapper wearing shoes? You’d think he’d at least wear a pair of Crocs around...

#andnothingofvaluewaslost

You lie. There is no kielbasa in the DC area other than what they sell at The Kielbasa Factory in Rockville.

It’s so clean because nobody is trying to eat, drink, apply makeup, or smoke while lapping. At least, I HOPE not...

Not sure my boss is going to be keen on me only actually working six hours for every eight that I bill...

What does living on the east coast have to do with anything?

Dang, had to upgrade to the Grand Touring trim for that option.

Yes, because when I look in my mirror and see a stopped truck, I then look up to see when the light turns green and the cars in front of me start moving. I don’t then expect him to start driving into me from 6 feet away. I wouldn’t even have time to react. If I’d have been too close to the vehicle in front of me, I…

Don’t have to worry about resale value if you plan on driving the thing until it dies, like I plan to with my 2005 Caravan.

I was sitting at a light minding my own business when a guy who had been sitting perfectly still behind me rear-ended me because he thought the light turned green when it hadn’t. But you’re right, I should have avoided it. My fault.

I know nothing about motorcycle racing - are these guys riding on one wheel on purpose, or is that just a byproduct of their speed and acceleration?

I slept in the back of my ‘94 GT more times than I can count. Even with another person back there, it was still pretty comfortable.

I had the same car in red. That thing was great. Too bad I was a dumb teenager and smashed it into a parked truck, totalling it. Got it up to 117mph on I-71 outside Columbus late one night driving home from college. I’ve never felt more terrified.

Bone Thugs the other day and now Macy Gray: have the Jalopnik staff recently taken a field trip to Ohio’s North Coast?

Yup, that was at the House of Blues in Cleveland, where they’re from. You never want to find yourself on any street that is mentioned in a Bone Thugs song.

Freakin’ ugly. Why are there so many angles and corners? I’m not a fan of anything Acura has designed in the last 10 years or so. Including the new NSX.

My 2005 Caravan also gets right around 20. So not only are you only getting 20mpg in 2016 from a new van, it isn’t even any better than those vans made 10 years prior. That’s a tough pill to swallow, and a good reason why I planned on driving this old thing until she crumbled apart. But now that there’s a hybrid…