You sound insane. And that’s not me being racist, just observant. 

Its not. I hop Chris isn’t fired for this.

Yes. There needs to be a nice balance, otherwise things like this will continue to happen. 

Yes, agreed. Us upper class, rich and evil Jews would never make a faux pas like that.

I am not an expert but I have a bearded dragon. It’s great (don’t know its gender yet).It’s very low maintenance and chilled. Certain Geckos get HUGE, I’ve heard. Good luck. 

I am really into Irish whiskey lately.

Those cheeks! OMG. I want to eat her. May I eat your baby? She is adorable. Enjoy her and good luck at work. It sucks that you need to be there. 

I’m only un-grey in the AV Club. Pretty sure that makes me an official nerd instead of the casual dabbler I used to be!

If by “drug-addled” you mean Ambien....

WHAT?? NO!

“depicted as a shady cabal of rich lefty Jews who meet in exotic locations like St. Croix and the Russian Tea Room to boast about the money they’re raking in through abortions—over daiquiris or pastrami sandwiches.”

Oh, wow. They give the talk to everyone lately. I had to sign a paper that said that I understood that shaking my baby could kill her before they let me leave the hospital. I guess to protect the hospital against litigation.

Yes, agreed. This is the best advice I’ve ever gotten, too. Make sure their diaper is dry, that they’re full and have burped, then put them safely in the crib and WALK AWAY for a bit. They should tell you that when they tell you everything else about shaken baby at the hospital. A bit of quiet really helps.

I just snorted coffee, so you get a star. 

I will open the fuck out of that. 

All I thought of when I heard Cardi’s baby’s name is “Throat Kulture”. Its a terrible name!

Buy me some pearls so that I may clutch them!

It seems icky to them. I mean, is that not a good enough reason?

Yes, thank you. That bugged me too. I will not keel over in horror if you curse in front of me. Watch your language? What is this, the 1920's?

Ugh, you are the WORST! Give it a fucking rest. You replied in like every thread of this article. We get it, you hate her. Now shut up.