So basically trying to catch a Giancarlo Stanton homer is just like trying to make it to the end of a Belladonna video.

How much do I have to pay for you guys to shut the fuck up about Johnny Manziel? What's the going rate for that?

03/22/14

If they insist on playing basketball with men, they have to expect that the men are going to treat them no differently. So, sorry ladies, but Carmelo Anthony isn't going to pass you the ball, either.

These calls are always awesome. America needs to step up the announcing game. We should get the DJs on Shade 45 to call the games. Every goal celebrated with Reggae air horns and gun fire sound effects. Or we could get Vin Scully and just enjoy the shit out of every match.

If you were interested in being fair, you'd have included the clarification Kelly gave when they came back from commercial—that he was simply impressed by her breasts, and that he planned to masturbate once the segment was over. A perfectly innocent explanation.

Oddly, this is how my kid reacted when he realized that "that old guy" was going to be offering draft commentary again this year.

Say what you will about Tim Kurkjian, but by god, If everyone in our country loved each other with the same genuine passion and optimism as Tim Kurkjian has for baseball, I strongly believe we would not have any crime in our society.

To help reflect the logic of Dan Snyder.....

Boris: What's this?

That's nothing. You can watch Antoine Walker clear a full rack in five minutes before he starts his shift as busboy at Tony Roma's.

RHETORICAL TACTICS OF AN INTERNET COMMENTER 101 SYLLABUS

Milton seemed to land on his feet.

It's already been done. Liverpool's players just wasn't offered the sweet relief at the end.

Reasons to believe that Brandon Jennings is just trying to hand Nick Young, like, a tic-tac or an aspirin:

That aforementioned list:

Nick Young turned it down for what?

If Qatar tries to bid on the Winter Games, my understanding is that it would be backed by its Free Labour party.