Maybe he just really hates sororities.

Griffey's eyes are the cold, dead eyes of a man who is on his 14th commenting system of the decade.

This isn't the showcase showdown. This is the wheel spin, the winner of which goes to the showcase showdown.

I bet you eat at Applebee's too you sick fuck.

This is a new security feature on Twitter in which any account that follows Skip Bayless is automatically considered to be compromised.

So, Jason, when you log in to most Internet sites, they put something in your computer called a cookie, and...

"God told him to stay at the airport and don't do anything, just stay there."

THESE ARE CEREALS FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE CEREAL AND CONTINUED HUMAN EXISTENCE.

"Fuck childhood." —Tim Marchman

"Fuck our demographic."—Tim Marchman

This is just awful and wrong.

TIM MARCHMAN DOES NOT SPEAK FOR THE REST OF THE DEADSPIN STAFF.

The worst.

WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU

I assume the people responsible redshirted the car because they don't expect it to start.

If you straighten out the paperclip, and stick it in the tiny hole on the West side of FirstEnergy Stadium, it will reset the Browns and they can start from scratch.

One source says the other guy had been harassing Aaron nonstop.

.