UPDATE: Benson responds.

I can understand their frustration. Last time I wore a rubber suit, lab testing said it was 99% effective. Now I've got a little shit running around the house calling me Dad.

This guy is 4-0 and considered a top prospect. Over 50 fighters have turned down a fight with him. He's not some random Twitter user. Terrible reporting

Surprised that the arena didn't see this coming.

Oden: [checks in]

Why not listen to the entire game?

Actually the rumors are linked. When Weeden learned they were bringing in a younger QB in Manning to the organization, he knew it was time for him to leave.

You realize this means the Cleveland Indians are the best run professional franchise in town, right?

Being an officer on Darth Vader's ship offers more job security than being a Cleveland Browns executive.

I hope Mike Lombardi has his old job of "answering Bill Simmons' phone calls" all lined up.

This was taken at the Belmont at 2011. Costas was on the platform to give his 45 seconds on the mic before the race, and everyone at the starting gate was pretty drunk and yelling at him. Costas came over to greet the crowd, and a dude chucked this full Coors Light to him.

I Can't Stop Watching Deadspin Post A New Article With "I Can't Stop Watching" In The Headline At Least Once A Week

Giants have selected Michael Sam (Mizz)

Way to go ESPN, merging two controversial topics in the NFL right now into one piece, an openly gay player and the effects of CTE on ex-players.

This guy is 15 years old.

I guess you can say all those hopelessly mismatched players...

If you think calling obesity a disease is creating a dangerous slippery slope, you're wrong. Fat people are just really greasy and have a hard time standing up.

Waiter: Can I start you off with something to drink sir?

HOW THE FUCK DID THIS PLACE HAVE THE BEST BID FOR THE WINTER OLYMPICS?

He only discussed how problematic the dogs had become.