Sleeping employees aren't very productive.

It's always April 1st somewhere in the world.

So as to not offend anyone, the snowflakes are demanding it be put on the Norwegian channel that shows a burning fireplace 24/7.

Trump had won the victory over himself. He loved Hannity.

Good. Now they have something to do with the water from Flint, Michigan.

Today's lucky guest, Judge Judy as you've never seen her before!

I'd watch a show where Dr Phil was a gas station attendant. "Phil her up, regular!"

"My vixen… err, daughter listened to that singer Aguilera when she was little. Christina is the same thing as Christian, right? She must be one of the few good people from Mexico if Ivanka liked her."

Hey Dharma. Come back again after he's committed genocide against six million people then maybe we'll listen.

With Steve Doocy's witty comments

Rumsfeld? Didn't he become a known unknown?

I wish he'd never taught his daddy how to use the Twitter. Too many twits!

Poor Pepe. Sorry to hear he croaked.

You forgot
Conservative: "Everyone knows that."

[JARTS]

I hear that's a new hipster dish, roasted with a mole sauce, and washed down with a PBR.

Yeah, I read that. For those that didn't, they're trying to figure out how to be able to run Tallie or Maisie for President. Too bad Socks the cat isn't still alive. He would have been a shoo-in for the Democratic nomination.

Akhet, That's what she said. Until she realized Trump pleases no one but himself.

The original PBS drama The Bailiwicks is still the best. Vin Diesel in the lead blows Keanu Reeves away.

"… his reaction to the gag." I saw what you did there, A.V. Club. Well played!