Shh! Gawker doesn’t care about facts!

Every time you write an article like this and cry “plagiarism” ... even in jest ... where there is none, you strengthen the opposition. It allows them to go, “See ... fake news” and encourage people to ignore anything said about the President, even when it’s true.

So where’s the plagiarism aside from the five words “back to you... the people”?

haha fair enough, man! You clearly know a lot more about this than I do. Going forward I will absolutely think twice before making a UCONN joke on Deadspin. Don’t want to upset anyone.

The Jets could use another young, unproven quarterback to sit on the bench and leave undeveloped for years before moving on.

Clemson fans are going talk about this win for years to come. Fortunately, no one else will understand a word of it.

It’d be better if you did.

I find it hilarious that your entire non-point boiled down to “but his feet touched the ground” and you want to pretend my end isn’t holding up. No amount of creative writing is going to make that player defenseless, but please keep soldiering on anyway! I can’t wait to see the next desperate Hail Mary you throw up.

Of course, how did I forget that any time a player isn’t hopping on one leg he is both defenseless and stopped? Man, those crazy refs sure are allowing a lot of unnecessary extra yardage tonight. Maybe you should call them.

He wasn’t stopped, let alone “cemented in place.” His legs were still pumping when the second hit came.

If you don’t like the way the NCAA defines “defenseless” feel free to take it up with them. I’m just explaining the current rules to all the pearl-clutchers before they work themselves into a case of the vapors.

What the hell is happening? I have a headache, I can’t tell who’s winning and who or what am I supposed to focus on to know whether or not Joe Flacco’s elite?

Yeah, Patrick. What the fuck.? Just exactly why are you so baffled? spete’s question didn’t sound rhetorical to me. And after the announcers helpfully re-explained the rules for you. Damn, what’s it take to get through to you liberal media?

No, this isn’t not targeting “somehow,” it’s not targeting because the player wasn’t defenseless and he wasn’t hit with the crown of the helmet. It didn’t meet either of the criteria. So it wasn’t even remotely targeting and it also wasn’t even remotely confusing. The announcers even helpfully re-explained the rules…

Fuck, hadn’t considered that. Thanks Danny Kanell.

I’m trying so hard to figure out which U of M you’re referring to.

Probably easier to make that call when the Bama defense ends aren’t moving at an average speed of about  about 65 mph.  

“Quietest brother gets no milk.”