To be fair, he only joined the crime ring very recently after it started doing well.

It helps when your face is all over the local news because you looked like a complete bumbling idiot. Nothing like hilarity to get more eyeballs—and more eyeballs means more likely identification.

Police apprehended not just these two, but an entire crime ring as well. In all, a total of eleven men and women were arrested. That said, police are on the lookout for an unknown, unnamed 12th man.

It’s like I always say, “If you’re going to steal packages off someone’s porch, make sure you don’t slip on wet grass and injure yourself or you might end up on the local news looking like an idiot.”

You just got your brain fixed man, don’t be in a rush to scramble it all up again. Especially for the Lions, they’re not going anywhere.

Somewhere Rick Barry read that headline, got his hopes up for a second, watched the video, sighed, and mumbled “dammit” to no one in particular.

The beautiful game is about the continuous flow of action and thought without stops and starts that creates a harmonious pattern not marred by the interruptions that infect other lesser sports and thus why should a writer’s thoughts that are trying to express this wonderful cadence be any different with the use of…

He sounds like a real DK.

For context- Katie Brown is probably one of the best, if not the best, hockey reporters. Period. Her work before this is superb.

Hmmm, and yet Ed Hochuli brazenly displays his guns with no recourse.

Aziz Ansari once took me on a date to Applebees. #metoo

That’s what made Twitter weird for you?

We knew there would be trouble when Haley said his favorite late night snack was tequila and Ben said that he preferred turnovers.

Um, Barry, you got a slight error here.

At least they’ll have left their mark after they’re gone.

I very much accept this theory. (One Pats beat guy DM’d me to offer the same theory.)

I think you missed the real conspiracy theory, that Belichik traded Garoppolo to Brady’s childhood team out of spite to Brady. One last twist of the knife making Brady watch as Garoppolo goes on to great success with the team he grew up watching and likely always wanted to play for?

Xzibit apparently went from pimp my ride to poop my ride. How the mighty have fallen...

Never cross Burnertoburnidiotss.  Ever. 

They didn’t lose, did they? How many other teams can say that? Seems legit to me.