I was hoping there would be something about David Foster and Kris Jenner in this dirtbag so I could post this flow chart. It’s really a thing of beauty.

Holy fuck I share a birthday with Beyoncé’s twins. Move the fuck over, M.C. Escher.

okay so this post is not serious

My favorite thing about feeling bad for Blue Ivy are the inheritance memes:

Man, twins are expensive. I hope they can afford it.

I appreciate how guarded they are with the birth of their kids. I think that, celeb or not, you should have the final say in how much info you want to share with folks. It’s a time of bonding and with two babies at once, I’m sure that’s a different experience. Not everything needs to be shared immediately to placate…

I love how Mathew (why only one T???) plugged his Instagram IN the twitter pic. The man has no shame.

I for one welcome our new adorable overlord!

I believe the Queen has already named her own successor.

After the whole brouhaha with Edward’s abdication, Princess Margaret asked her sister, “Does this mean you’ll be queen?” When she said yes, Margaret said, “Oh Elizabeth, I’m so sorry.”

As a Canadian, obviously the Queen is my soverign. I have no problem with the monarchy, not only is it literally the only reason to visit England (excluding the rest of the UK), I’ve always seen it as “the living personification of the peaceful transfer of power.”

These actual human beings are living-symbols of the…

Gosh, a medium-talent hack whose main defining characteristic was she was less-sexist & racist than her Fox News colleagues has a hard time finding an audience outside of her bubble?

Color me not fucking surprised.

You mean we might actually get her outta here if this ratings trend continues?

I saw this posted online yesterday underneath a story about a man who had died in a car accident. It was posted with complete sincerity. What the fuck?!

I’m an entomologist and I work with that beautiful specimen you have pictured, Ae. aegypti. To maintain a colony in the lab, I will sometimes have to feed them by sticking my arm into a cage and letting them go to town. My best advice to avoid getting a reaction is to NOT SCRATCH no matter how much they itch. Once you…

Thank you for not making me click. You are doing the Lord’s work.

Sometimes (okay, frequently) I think, “if I ate better, I could be skinnier”, but then I see shit like this. A flat tummy and skinny arms are not worth this. Nothing is.

Eh, I’m torn on the Ariel sitch. As a parent, I understand what the mom is saying but Ariel is 19 years old; she’legally an adult and it’s her body. She’s not putting herself at risk, so let her do her, mom. This is apparently what kids do today. I just got high and listened to a lot of R.E.M and the Smiths at 19.