I for one welcome our new adorable overlord!

I believe the Queen has already named her own successor.

After the whole brouhaha with Edward’s abdication, Princess Margaret asked her sister, “Does this mean you’ll be queen?” When she said yes, Margaret said, “Oh Elizabeth, I’m so sorry.”

As a Canadian, obviously the Queen is my soverign. I have no problem with the monarchy, not only is it literally the only reason to visit England (excluding the rest of the UK), I’ve always seen it as “the living personification of the peaceful transfer of power.”

These actual human beings are living-symbols of the…

Gosh, a medium-talent hack whose main defining characteristic was she was less-sexist & racist than her Fox News colleagues has a hard time finding an audience outside of her bubble?

Color me not fucking surprised.

You mean we might actually get her outta here if this ratings trend continues?

I saw this posted online yesterday underneath a story about a man who had died in a car accident. It was posted with complete sincerity. What the fuck?!

I’m an entomologist and I work with that beautiful specimen you have pictured, Ae. aegypti. To maintain a colony in the lab, I will sometimes have to feed them by sticking my arm into a cage and letting them go to town. My best advice to avoid getting a reaction is to NOT SCRATCH no matter how much they itch. Once you…

Thank you for not making me click. You are doing the Lord’s work.

Sometimes (okay, frequently) I think, “if I ate better, I could be skinnier”, but then I see shit like this. A flat tummy and skinny arms are not worth this. Nothing is.

Eh, I’m torn on the Ariel sitch. As a parent, I understand what the mom is saying but Ariel is 19 years old; she’legally an adult and it’s her body. She’s not putting herself at risk, so let her do her, mom. This is apparently what kids do today. I just got high and listened to a lot of R.E.M and the Smiths at 19.

I’m sure Donald was really concerned about Sasha and Malia’s emotional well being when he was peddling his birther bullshit for eight years.

I hope when my children are in their thirties, they will know that their mother and I value each of them more than one percent each.

My dad just said that whoever is leaking all of this info should be hanged cause he’s a traitor. I asked him if the subjects of these leaks should also be punished. Of course he was like no. I promptly blew up at him, reminding him he wasn’t worried about the person(s) who leaked the info from the DNC.

“Crooked Jared?”

When she and Ryan Reynolds got engaged a friend of mine called them “a perfectly matched set of golden retrievers” and that is the only thing I can think of when she shows up in my feed.

Publicist #5: (Perravieja, who is not a publicist, but who read Dirt Bag this morning)

I cannot wait for every adult who told me there wouldn’t be an impeachment with a GOP-controlled Congress to eat crow.