A few more, because I can’t resist:

A sample for those who never knew it’s awesomeness:

I think what he means is, when you go there, you have to give them your whole paycheck! Because everything is so expensive there. So if you think about it, it’s almost like “whole paycheck” would be a better name for the store because of how much you have to spend when you go there and then your paycheck is gone when…

“Fake shoes!" 

I’m still paying off my most recent visit to Whole Foods … or as I like to call it, Whole Paycheck.

Lawyer comment for anyone wondering WTF. Apparently the statutory maximum sentence for kidnapping in Utah is 15 years, and the authorities opted to give her credit for time served since her arrest in 2002, which isn’t unusual.

“Bow to the daddy”

Have you taken the “napkin test”??? Crest would like you to know that your teeth have to be as white as bleached white paper before you can go out into public.

“Overly-white”? Have you not been paying attention to TV commercials? Until your smile is as white as White-Out, you’re ugly and gross and haggardly and shouldn’t be kissed or loved by anyone.

Apparently this makes for the perfect poison.

...she reportedly admitted she had poisoned him with eyedrops, putting it in his food. Her motive for doing so is still elusive.

I don’t know....those text messages sent to Rain Dove where she admitted she had sex with him. The fact that she tried to justify it because she was in a relationship at 17 with a 33 year old. The fact that she’s now pinning the payout on the dead guy who can’t really defend himself. The fact that she’s using the same…

The same people who would not know what tertiary means.

Cliff and Claire tried to warn Elvin not to quit medical school to open that wilderness store.

First off, work is work, and the people who do an honest job should be treated with dignity and respect, on the clock and off.

And yet - atheist that I am - I would make the argument that what separates the ‘axial’ religions - Judaism, Buddhism, Christianity, and Islam - is that at their best, in their foundations, they ultimately focus on us getting on with one another, engaging each other, being kind to one another. Scientology seems more…

Yep. But it’s important that we be mad about anything and everything I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Aziz Ansari doesn’t deserve the level of vitriol directed at Louis CK et al. CK masturbated to his subordinates then blackballed them with his influence. Aziz Ansari thought he was getting a groupie one night stand, she thought it was a date. Neither of them clarified their expectations for the night. He was an…

I say this in a way that is divorced from Aziz or the woman victimized:

You’re making fun of a comedian because.... his jokes are less funny in print than they are delivered?  The fuck is this bs?