Who Gat

Manziel says he and Gordon are testing themselves and staying positive.

Some asshole stole Bartolo Colon’s belt and is showing it off in the background.

Sam Hinkie, before this week

I hate to break it to you:

giving up 4 goals probably minimizes those college prospects as much as anything.

I’ve already blocked my own mom before for the reasons you describe.

I guess a video of me getting a haircut would be somewhat entertaining when the barber makes a vaguely racist joke and I laugh akwardly because I don’t want to upset the guy who has the power to make me look like a dingus for the next 3 weeks.

Also, coincidentally, the name of a mafia tough played by Nick Offerman in his forthcoming movie.

Not surprised that Josh Smith has found yet another way to leave his taint on the game of basketball.

Such a play is known as a Kobe, as it allows you to pass to yourself and involves an asshole.

Is 78% of what the male writers make enough?

They’re just trying to finally solve the question of if she was born with it or if it’s Maybelline.

I always thought it would be awesome if Brandon Marshall were traded straight up for LeSean McCoy. Then I could imagine Brandon singing:

Tyler: Mom, I know I disappointed you with this embarrassing scandal.

I’d hit it. She’s a natural woman. Like most. With all the imperfections of them. You would know this if you actually had sex with women.

A spokesman for ESPN says they’ve been flooded with calls from white people overjoyed to see a black man rooting for them.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that a technobabbling drone produced half a dozen pages of Gladwellian quotes of someone else’s bullshit without any real point or purpose before getting to something that vaguely resembles substance. But the kicker here is basically that there was never actually any plan besides…

I’ll believe he’s the next Tulowitzki when he stubs his toe and misses 45 games to recover from it.

“I’ve been proven not guilty.”*