Thanks. I had some pretty stupid material to draw from, so...

This is Russell Wilson’s comment

Are Seahawks fans quickly becoming the #BestFansInBaseball of the NFL?

Kirk Herbstreit lives in Nashville, Tennessee now because he was having an affair with the wife of a policeman in or around Columbus, OH. I know dearly the brother of a former Columbus police officer and he said the force-wide instructions were to harass Kirk to the point that he would leave town. So they did. And he…

Feast Mode.

Looks like the bandwagon evacuation plan was enacted.

NYC firefighters know that the Super Bowl is the place to be if you don’t want to see any jets.

So now Barca is buying a bunch of attackers it doesn’t need and that they can’t fit into their lineup.

oh wow. I didn’t know Chalmers was an actual player. I thought the whole Miami thing was just LeBron working with the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Remember like three years ago when Nate Silver said that the average Deadspin reader was a 34 year old white male with an above average income, and high alcohol consumption?

Had some of these at the home of my bougie-est bougie friends, and my reaction was to bust out the Jordan Peele impression: “White people be crazy.”

My college brand of vodka was Popov. Used to come in a plastic bottle. Mixed that shit with Country Time Lemonade and had some awesome nights, and very rough mornings.

I don’t know, this one just slayed me.

Considering their bread is made from the material found in wrestling mats, the brand synergy seems appropriate.

I’m so glad this team that I have unnecessarily invested so many emotions into for nearly twenty years fired the best coach it had employed in over a decade for having too big an ego before hiring a coach with an even bigger ego, who sucks.

I agree that getting suddenly filthy rich won’t guarantee you happiness and may cause problems. But I’ve never found working in a boring job 8-12 hours a day to stave off poverty is any sort of spiritual Nirvana either. I would be willing to experiment with a different set of problems for awhile.

Does Neil Everett believe in non-dairy creamer? Does he rise to the top? Then, allow the Macho Man to explain:

Lionel Hollins, Billy King, and Willie (but not Willis) Reed

Spent way too much time every year grinding FIFA career mode up from the 4th division to miss any of these.

19/20. Yes, I used to play a lot of FIFA.