It happens in a lot of families. Happened to me actually. You achieve some measure of success and the rest of your lazy, stupid, embittered family hates you for it.

Well, if the the nerdy shit being that “Van Wayne” actually existed in the comics, yes.

You forgot number 6. They paid gizmodo to write a fluff article.

Reminds me of the last fight I got in. This guy at a bar was looking at me. So I said, “What the fuck you looking at asshole?” He looks at me and says, “Nothing.” I stood up. “Damn right, you better not be.” This guy had no business fucking with a guy like me, so I said, “ You have no business fucking with a guy like…

A country is more than its government. Even Russia. Chill out.

Oh fucking fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck Trump. Fuck anyone who voted for him. I don’t give a shit if you like to hear it, Trump voters. You just steered our country directly toward the pits of hell, and if your feelings are hurt by me telling you that, good. Maybe you will think next time you vote instead of pulling the…

Timothy Olyphant (Justified) plays Barrymore’s husband, and Nathan Fillion (Firefly, Castle) is a rival agent. The show was created by Victor Fresco, who also did the similarly offbeat Better Off Ted for ABC and Andy Richter Controls the Universe for Fox.

I’m investing in any pouch manufacturer I can find. They will need to buy soooooo many pouches for movie.

James Franco’s 4th brother there looks like he is about to be touched inappropriately by an old homeless Russian man.

Bullshit. He bought a war GAME. You know? Digital people exploding into pixels?

Come on. Not this one. Not now.

That’s a good panda.

So are internet comments questioning the physical status of professional athletes.

Finally, Richard Sherman admits to pass interference.

Goals going the other way after a missed empty net have happened before.

Which is exactly what they’d say, knowing it was, in fact, R’lyeh rising from the deep.

Would like to add that Kofi Kingston has done some of the absolute coolest shit ever to avoid getting eliminated at Royal Rumbles:

monogamy took the bone, and matrimony took the balls.

Wow Billy! How’d you get all those presents this year?