Clearly this is just a way to capitalize on Kitten Mittens:

Ballparking it here. 220lb man drinks .5% abv teas until 3am, blows a .055 at 5:30am. Expected BAC of .08 at 3am. At .5% abv, and assuming he drank them over course of say 3 hours, that’s 48 twelve ounce bottles of Kombucha tea.

Eat, sleep, train.

just think how long it took the giraffe to swallow his pride!

“Could you just scooch over a little bit”

What’s the hardest thing about rollerblading?

That would be the ultimate stocking stuffer.

I broke mine when I was trying to use it to lift a car using a rock as a fulcrum. Terrible knife. I’m now keeping a floor jack in my kitchen drawer.

I broke mine when I was trying to use it to lift a car using a rock as a fulcrum. Terrible knife. I’m now keeping…

You forgot the Chysler Lemon

Can we agree that the topheavy margarita glass\martini glass is an awful design? I feel like they designed it knowing that there would be a good chance that the drinker would knock it over, thus needing to buy more booze.

Probably easier (though not necessarily cheaper) to drive it across the Pacific.

Alibaba.com and the Forty Thousand Intellectual Property Thieves

We debated this one for a while trying to parse out Scherzer’s exact string of words, though some of them are pretty obvious. I think we’ve settled on “fucking bastard motherfucking bitch motherfucker” and now I can’t see it any other way.

I was curious so I tried to do the math. Uber takes 20% off the top of the 632, so you’re left with 500 bucks, plus the 300 tip so that’s roughly $800.

If that bird wants to file a lawsuit, I know a guy.

In surprising reversal, Chad Johnson is taking the House to it.

Why say “Five Gulf Nations cut ties with Qatar” when you can say “Five Gulf Nations break Qatar strings?” That’s web journalism 101, Wags.

And it won’t run down the battery.

This took me entirely too long to make.