We used to do this for our late cat! He would sit there, catnip sock in his paws, blissfully unaware of anything else going on.

One of my education professors told our class (a classmate was whining that a kid on her sister’s dance team should have been kicked off for some “immorality”) that it isn’t the parent’s opinions that matter in the school and she got SO mad. It was hilarious and wonderful.

A friend ran into her kid’s kinder teacher having a margarita one night at a restaurant, and when the kid asked, “Mommy, why does Ms. S have a margarita?” she replied, “For the same reason Mommy does, sweetheart. Just let her relax.”

Same. It reallllly doesn’t matter at all to me how many guys I’ve slept with. (Plus sometimes I forget about a dude until I see him somewhere and remember, so there’s no point trying to count.)

My dad is from Wyoming and we go back pretty often to see family and go camping, etc. The presence of idiot tourists in Yellowstone has made it almost impossible to enjoy the park anymore. Pushing on boardwalks (no, I DON’T want to go into the boiling water, thanks) and going up to animals like they’re tame,…

It’s bleak. Too many people are fueled by hatred and bigotry and support the candidates who run with that as their platform. My parents, best friends, and boyfriend are all Democrats and I would go insane without them.

Bubbles has never been more appropriate.

Yep. I pull the skin taut and pluck away! It’s the only thing I do because my skin does NOT like depilatories or shaving at all.

What about mothers who call their sons “Daddy”? Because that’s a thing that keeps happening on my FB feed.

I literally just taught fifth graders the comparative and superlative and I want to star this so many times.

Yep, I grew up around Baptists and Methodists who were convinced that all of us Catholics would be going straight. to. hell. I don’t practice anymore, but sheesh.

One of those people in the black lanyards is my best friend! I believe her dad is kind of a big shot for Jazz Fest and maybe Voodoo, so they have the hookup. When I still lived in NOLA it was great because I could spend all my money on crawfish bread instead of tickets...

Thanks! I’ll cross mine for you too...expecting guests to dress up is a liiiiittle much for a wedding, especially if you think you’ll be getting a costume out of whatever the theme is. Please tell me it’s, like, Marie Antoinette themed and wigs will be involved, because that’s what I’m imagining and it’s…

I’m pretty sure she hasn’t thought about it beyond seeing a picture and thinking it fit her “country” theme, so I’m hoping she’ll rethink it before the wedding or that the photographer might flat out refuse? She knows I’m absolutely not getting in the water in a dress I have to shell out $100+ for, which means I’m…

The words came out of her mouth and I immediately rejected them. Now to convince her she shouldn’t throw herself, several pounds of dress, and a pair of cowboy boots into a dirty river on the off chance the photographer gets a decent shot before she falls off the tube. And you have a connection to your thing! She…

I plan on thrifting a decent pair and then keeping them around for all the “Western” theme days they’re so fond of having during school spirit week, so at least I’ll get some use out of them!

I’m trying my best to convince her out of it entirely! Alas, it wouldn’t be a stiletto because the entire wedding party is wearing cowboy boots...which, once again, do not work well in rivers (another reason not to do it). I don’t even think she likes tubing, to be honest. She just saw it somewhere and decided she…

This justifies my 1/2 an avocado a day (minimum) habit, right?

Yep! I also have no idea how the photographer would be getting these pictures of us as we float down a river lined with trees and bushes? Would they also be in a tube? Or scampering along the bank? It’s just not a sound idea at all.

One of my friends wants to take “cute” pictures of herself and the bridal party TUBING IN OUR DRESSES. I told her she’s more than welcome to dunk herself in the cold-ass river, but I will not be joining her.