Clinton Portis 1st carry: 7 yards, motions to get taken out of game

@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: When you're Josh McDaniels, and you take flyers on both J.J. Arrington & Correll Buckhalter, you pretty much say fuck it at this point.

Calvin Johnson is a BEAST. Too bad thanks to Matt Millen he'll never know what a .500 record looks like.

Thank goodness for NFL Redzone, so I only hear bits and pieces of Phil Simms commenting on how gutsy Joe Flacco looks throwing Favre-like INTs.

Don't worry, Miles. Most athletes would want to stay away from Ray J's sloppy seconds.

The end of Tennessee-LSU: WOW.

This is not as bad as Andy Reid's sons appearing in an ad for Jager Bombs.

Is he still waiting by the phone for his next guest appearance on Aqua Teen Hunger Force?

I'm sure Chris was just as surprised as Gray Davis when Arnold was elected as Governor of California.

Oh, Jerrod Johnson. Built like Vince Young, makes decisions in the passing game like VY, too.

If this gets them to the World Series, I fully expect Dusty Baker to show up as the Ladies' Man next week.

In terms of absurdity, 1 Easterbrook column = 4 months of Yahoo! Sports articles.

Thanks to Judah Friedlander for stopping by the office today

@Brazil Thrill: Remember him from Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. A true talent. R.I.P.

@FlakJack: Brilliant.

So, this is what happened to Despereaux when the filet mignon was overcooked.

Be sure to file this under "An Injury Prone Rio Ferdinand Is Better Than A Healthy Jonny Evans".

FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT THE GUY FROM SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE!!

Good work Barry. Now, please wash your hands before exiting the bathroom.

The tranny e-mail should've been cross posted to Jezebel for the outrage/coming out stories.