2 a.m. on a Wednesday, Mark? Every guy knows texting underage girls for sex starts at 8 p.m. Friday night.

That deserves this

Show me on the Sidney Crosby doll where Mr. Coffey touched you

"Banging your cousin?" That's so lame. Banging your sister, now that's awesome." -Anonymous redneck, Bumfuck, West Virginia

You may laugh at the term Big Dick, but what else is Lexington Steele supposed to go by?

That Cavs-Wizards game will now be known as "The Forsaken Game".

Couldn't see my full username before whatever the fuck happened here.

The Groupon commercial: brought to you by the same people who produced the movie Hudson Hawk

If the Steelers lose, does that mean Wiz Khalifa's career is over?

Thanks to Joe Buck, this is the first Super Bowl I will watch that's entirely muted.

I was gonna type something witty and amusing, but the fat chick with the Big Ben undies has induced me into shock.

Haber brings the ether

Apparently, Mr. Griffen has read Charlie Sheen's new autoboigraphy, Two And A Half Months: How To Ruin Your Once Promising Career

A picture of a buzzsaw for a cock and no Leitch reference?

Witnesses say that James Harrison was there receiving 15-yard penalties for "unnecessary roughness in the champagne room".

You show that picture in any supermarket and you get your Gorton's fish sticks for half price.

No worries, folks. Nate Newton's weed dealers got the address wrong, again.

DUAN hip-hop thread : y'all can't TAKE it

Not since Val Kilmer's movie career has something else been bailed out by the Heat

Foster Brooks Is Drunk, But Also Wouldn't Mind A Giant New Bottle Of Jameson