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My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH
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So, AJ, I see those years of internet stalking the Snorg Tees lady finally paid off. Don't let Linda Cohn find out, though.

Instead of T-Mac, McGrady's new nickname is "Out 4-6 weeks"

Oh, to go back to the days of Sergei Brylin & Neal Broten.

Luckily for Crawford, there weren't that many fans at Camden Yards to see that happen.

Kobe Bryant thinks that anal sex is something every Colorado hostess should try.

R.I.P. Skip. I hope you and Corbin Bernsen's career rest peacefully now.

The reason this movie was a success was that it was the first movie in which you could take Joseph Gorden-Levitt somewhat seriously.

This is one time where you can use the term "laying down the pipe" and not think of Jeff Gilooly.

You could've just said he's a cocksucker and it would've been OK.

Even his vomiting is under par.

During the MLS All-Star Game, Sir Alex will refer to Landon as "that American bloke who keeps stealing the ball from Chris Smalling."

Latos would prefer that you stop making fun of his injury. It's snot funny to him at all.

The Lord gets his freak on on the dance floor in mysterious ways.

This isn't as dumb as James Blake's "Why Pam Shriver Is An Ass" essay.

This is otherwise known as "Thursday" in Oakland.

I vote that we should have Artie Lange host next year, just so he can spend the entire monologue drinking Jim Beam and leering at Erin Andrews & Michele Beadle.

This is like a dark comedy, where the party animal teaches the country club types to loosen up, an then drinks himself to death

That still doesn't discredit the fact that the cracker made a lot of African-Americans rich. Amirite, Rush?

I was thinking which was worse: this "decision" or the LeBron one. I finally came to the conclusion that I really need to get the fuck out more.