In the background you can see Carl Monday shaking his head in disapproval.

Shit My Dad Says

I think Hard Knocks should move from HBO to late-night Cinemax, because I'm getting hard just thinking about it

I imagine this is the same thing that Elizabeth Taylor used on her husbands to stay committed to their marriage.

So, this is how the Phillies organization cracks down on underage drinking at their ball park. Very effective.

I see Will is covering the elderly/potential d-bag with awful hairdo contingent.

To prove how religious he is, he's seen the movie Jesus Christ Superstar over a hundred times.

I heard the winner won the right to be impregnated by Rick Pitino in an Olive Garden bathroom.

There's no truth to the rumor that Payton was stealing the Vicodin for Reggie Bush, because he needed something to help him deal with Kim Kardashian.

I'm waiting for the day that Daulerio bets his mortgage on a horse named Pants Party.

I've been on Deadspin long enough to say that that bedroom picture is one of the LEAST disturbing things I've seen on this site.

A child sexual abuse quote next to a previous Big Ben story. Well played, Craggs.

You know the Eagles?

STDee Mirich or DanteStallworthDrivingSchool?

Chinese gymnasts and Cuban pitchers; at this point shouldn't we just adjust a couple years to their stated ages by default ?

So, how long before the Yankees and Red Sox battle to over pay for his services?

Is Notre Dame Basketball Coach Mike Brey Illicitly Humping This TV News Lady?

The only reason Arizona is so tough on immigration is to prevent Juan Cruz from dragging his gas can to the D-Backs.

This has been labeled as BK (before Kazaam)

But, unlike Bill Clinton, he does know what the term "is" means.