The teacher is using the classicBig Ben's Happiness Is A Warm Pussy story

He was directing that middle finger towards Sarah Silverman. He knows AJ's pain.

Vikes should draft Clausen, just to be Favre's driver/Metamucil holder.

From Boise to New York City. No cultural difference at all for Kyle Wilson.

Also check out ESPN's new reality show, Al Davis or Hugh Hefner: WHO DIES FIRST?!!

Nice to see they woke Al Davis up from his catatonic state to tell him they drafted a LB with their first pick.

Be sure to join Deadspin on Sunday night, for a special DUAN Comedy Week/NFL Draft wrap-up, with Sarah Silverman & Kige Ramsey.

As is I'm being a little late on here, how many times did MarkKelsosMigraine ask Sarah about the 1812 Overture?

FUCK THAT. YOU WILL BE MRS. LARRY KING AND YOU'LL LIKE IT, MISSY.

So, when does he start his stint on The Sports Reporters?

If this is the worst sports show ever, then that means SportsNation isn't trying that hard enough.

@tastes_like_burning: Listening to Tim McCarver for over 6 hours = a fate worse than death

He should go to Kentucky, just to disprove to the naysayers that Calipari doesn't recruit 1-and-done guys.

Jigga Man's stance on snitches would've ensured that the Jose Canseco book would've never been published.

I'm not trying to defend the Entourage d-bags, but exactly how the fuck else are you gonna get laid if you're a short guy who's nickname is "Turtle"?

To cut down on the violence, the Dodgers front office color coded the bleachers according to your gang affiliation.

He also says he doesn't know the identity of the client who purchased the "ads"

2 men fighting over Joakim Noah in Chicago? Isn't that the name of a Broadway play?

To celebrate, Terry Bradshaw finally learned how to spell the word "cat".

No Shaun Wright-Phillips or Carlos Tevez? You'll be receiving hate mail from chilltown on this one.