@ClintonPortishead: +1

Rey Maualuga Feels Up A Dwarf

Somewhere, Chad Ochocinco is kicking himself that he didn't include Bridget The Midget in his 3-way.

If you can afford Blue Diamond, you might as well go all out in your douchiness and get a 6-pack of Zimas.

Other mascot duties: explaining to Royals fans (all 10 of them) why you would pay 55 million dollars for Gil Meche.

They removed the fountains because they needed a reason to keep Danny Green in the organization, other than his dancing skills.

I won't claim he is gay until he lists Nathan Lane as his favorite Hollywood actor.

I hung out with George Brett, and all I got was 500 free cases of pine tar.

Trebek: This is Tom Cable's favorite movie

If you buy this used 1999 Ford Taurus, he'll let you dunk on his brother Charles.

What does Jay Mariotti have to do with Dante's Inferno?

Of course, TMZ Sports is busy drumming up rumors that Tracy Porter & Hot Lips are now an item.

There hasn't been this much joy since Mystikal was released from prison.

Alas, Len Dawson is the closest that a Kansas City Chief will come to holding the Lombardi trophy for a LONG, LONG time.

The only bad thing about this is we get a Lil' Wayne Autotuned Super Bowl theme song.

PARTY AT BOURBON ST.!!

The fact that Mark Brunell may get a Super Bowl ring lets me know that the end times are nigh.

Forget what I just said about OT

If the Colts tie this game, how long until the "the NFL should change it's OT rules" discussion starts?

It may be time for Tom Emanski to come out with a DVD on tackling.