The grossest thing your body has ever done is eat a 1 lb bag of black twizzlers.

I feel like I can’t compete with the writer’s story, but for me it was a period/virus combo. I had clots the size of guinea pigs dropping out of my vagina as I sat shaking on the toilet shitting my brains out while throwing up into a trashcan.

I’d say Goldfinch

*please pull through*

I love these videos, but why the heck would you want to peel a kiwi? The skin is where the flavour is, without that it would be the most boring fruit ever (except for the crackling pits. Love those.)

If he’s the one who’s speechless, he’s using it wrong.

“Schmuck Sandal in Napa Leather with Pom Poms” DONE.

A better way to put it: existing language making oral and anal sex illegal might stay on the books, because nobody wants to fight about it, because it would get messy.

Not following through.

And now she sells jewelry that looks like butts.

Uhhh, isn't emotional distress part of the job description when you decided to become a police officer? It is literally your job to handle distressing situations. It's also the defense apologetics use when explaining why it's okay for you to kill unarmed civilians. This is an extra step of awful.

Yes; “flopped-over traffic cone” and “ambulatory merkin” are conspicuously absent...

* Puts toothpaste right next to bed after 2 days. *

I have issues even with the self-defense part of that. Teenagers have a bad habit pairing a dangerous overestimate of ability with an astounding underestimation of risk. I’m convinced whoever actually coined the phrase, “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing” was observing teenagers when they did so.

But do we know what has caused this yet? Like, ingredient or prep method or what? How does this keep happening??

I wanna hug it.

Don’t worry, they just said they are looking for 3 white men, so they’ll change that title from terrorists to loners pretty soon here.

Yep, I’d eat that pony in a heartbeat. Why not? What is seriously the difference between a pony and a sheep or a cow, morally?

It’s really not any grosser and meaner than anything else we eat, though. And from the sound of it, these animals have vastly better lives than the factory-farmed cows, pigs and chickens we eat every day.

Are you implying Chris Hemsworth eating me would be a bad thing?