Pls bring choc milk.

They can’t stand with him, can only ride their Rascals in little parade circles around him.

Oh, it’s gonna be yeet fire.

I giddily look forward to the day that Dancing With the Stars declines his agent’s offer to appear as a contestant. I will make a big fucking unfrosted white cake, push two little chocolate chips into the spongey top, and pretend I am eating his stupid head.

OBF? This is my favorite table I own:

Ethan has to be a serial killer. There’s no other possible outcome with those parents.

.

I want an all marionette version. Marionettes made of raw meat. 

brb buying duct tape.

Oh, that Carla.

There’s always airplanes.

It drained me of all sense of well-being.

She’s no MIRA SORVINO WHO SPEAKS MANDARIN FLUENTLY, WHICH YOU MAY HAVE READ SOMEWHERE.

Shades of Dahmer.

Just departed New Mexico for California, where we are delivering results!

During my twenties, I pretty much exclusively dated angry-looking people, angry-looking waitstaff, especially. Lots of them. I liked ‘em crabby, and with a small notepad, I guess.

From Barb to table. Artisinal, localvore placentophagy.

You think you’re soooooooooo smart.

I would enjoy a slideshow of celebrities who have adamantly refused to eat their placentas, despite being cajoled, threatened, or bribed. Or celebrities who have eaten other celebrities’ placentas. Or a slideshow of celebrities who have eaten their pajamas.

Alternately, on Xantha, we laugh at your gullibility.