When I was about seven, my parents purchased the World Book Encyclopedia, so I could plagiarize it for homework (before the Internet, the World Book was google.)

Huh. I can’t seem to change the channel.

We’re going to need an awful lot of salt for that soil, afterward.

.

Lately, for obvious reasons, I remind myself that odds are that Trump won’t be alive in five years or so, given his proclivities.

He’s Brando-esque. Streetcar-era Brando, importantly enough.

Anonymously through the mail would be okay.

“Enlightenment.”

Man, they get really worked up over gender stuff. Especially where kids are concerned.

Today, I am a manatee.

So... he’s suggesting that he couldn’t have flashed his penis, or rubbed it against anyone because he hadn’t noticed it existed yet?

Caroline Rhea used to do this standup bit about looking at family pictures and noticing how all the women’s heads were tilted in every photo. She ascribed it to a sense of “why, we’re just all so nice and non-threatening, we can’t even hold our heads up straight.”

Go out and come back in. We’ll play along.

Hilary Clinton looooves tabs. Has hundreds open.

Maybe now they can afford some nice slacks pants that aren’t all ripped up.

I’m gay and I completely get his appeal.

I’m guessing that at some point, over all those years, one of them must have gotten felt.