Because he’s got people, really good people who are turning up some big news, really, really big news about Obama’s birth certificate ANY DAY NOW.

I have never smelled a campfire, but have smelled a house that burned down. Are they similar? House fires smell really garbage-y and rank, in my opinion.

Apparently now it’s not just “progressive” that’s inexplicably become a bad word: now anything “modern” is suspicious as well.

Me, too! I was thinking... eyebrows...?

At least he’s clear about his intent...

“Only the goodness of mercury Mother Nature intended.”

“In addition, Quaker does not add rat feces or spider eggs at any point in the packaging printing process, thus further demonstrating our strong commitment to the highest standards.”

I’m $ure they do.

Watch Big Brother this year*.

👏That’s.👏 The. 👏Joke.

S’cheaper.

I think she was trying to avoid any movement that would make her arm fat wiggle. She’s very thin, but you can see wobble potential, and someone likely mentioned it to her. Which doesn’t make her less of a Nazi, just a vain, self-conscious Nazi.

That’s not even how snakes work, lady.

Good luck there, Sparenip McVacantstare.

I heard they found an infant wrapped in newspaper, behind the furnace.

I feed my chickens dried mealworms, and they smell quite a bit like sesame oil. On occasion, when I’ve been hungry and scooping them out for the birds, the smell has made my stomach growl.  I guess it’s like those people who are unhappily attracted to Sarah Palin, only not as bad.

If ever a beverage was asexual...

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