It should be, “Look at what they done did to him, dang.”

In my head, he sounded like Boomhauer.

“Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.”

I’m just relieved he didn’t say “tenants of religion.” I have lowered my standards just that far.

Kinda makes it worse if anything, actually.

Made it myself!

Awww, he’s awkwadorable. Plus, his look aligns with his message: he’s a proud, risk-taking nonconformist.

I had a laparoscopic appendectomy that took a while to heal, and I had blood stains on my mattress. The stains were about the size of a nickel, and there were a half dozen of them, but that still qualifies as a “blood-stained mattress” and it’s even more mundane.

You seem mildly brain damaged.

Marie est une fille.

I’m going to get Asthma, because I am a sharp consumer.

Let me know when he leaves the fucking planet.

You missed “Scientology.”

“I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.”

If I had $13 million, I’d give it to him to go away and stf up, even if it meant I lived in a box under a freeway overpass for the rest of my life.

Is there an actual increase in persons with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or are they just more visible because of the Internet? Either way, they’re making me reevaulate eugenics. Because this shit can’t evolve away fast enough on its own. It’s just gotta stop.

That’s because we killed Coal! Bring back coal mining and slavery, and we’ll see what that chart looks like, sonny!

“Plummet at great speed from the sky.” Because, why not.