Let’s just say I have deliciously lemon-scented hair. It reminds me of Love’s Fresh Lemon Scent perfume my mom would wear in the seventies: as much like lemon candy as lemon.

It was an artisanal addition, at my local Target store.

They also sell that lemon-scented shampoo from the seventies with an actual-size plastic lemon as a cap.

Plus, isn’t being for the people more important, ultimately? It's more than most wealthy people can say. They are who they are, and they aren’t middle class.

Honestly? I’d like to think Barack and Michelle saw that, laughed conspiratorially, and terrorist-fist-bumped each other. Then toasted their excellent choice. Fuck the haters.

I remember reading Dandelion Wine as a kid, and wanting a turret bedroom so much (grew up in rental ramblers and shitty suburban apartments.)

You can never be too rich, or too lacy.

Facial expressions are so 2009.

ACCOMPLISHER!

It looks like if Frederick’s of Hollywood made Christmas tree skirts.

Medical professional: pierces ears with a stud gun at Hot Topic.

New? It’s almost over, thank god. The fact that the contestant monkeys on the show are sporting it is its death knell. I’ve been hating on it for at least three long years.

The reason I don’t like David Cross any more is because I watched Celebrity Poker, long ago when Dave Foley was hosting it, and Nicole Sullivan and David Cross were players. She wiped the floor with everyone, which David Cross apparently found really upsetting, because he was repeatedly unkind to her.

I find their noses profoundly upsetting. There’s some nasal-insertive penetration going on in Riverdale, I’m sure of it.

The scenario implied would require exploratory surgery. That’s some horrifying FOPA situation, there.

She irks me, too. I think of her as the female Tom Cruise; they’re both so camera aware, it’s as though they’re trying to crawl through the lense, even in profile. Too much energy going toward intensity, no inner light at all. Plus, they’re both surreal jaw clenchers. I’d be amazed if they don’t both have terrible TMJ.

What about proto-douche Reggie? His blue/black hair and shitty attitude was hot. He was my first comic book boyfrint.