Thats pretty amazing. Both my parents are on Facebook and they know I am too. None of us has ever attempted to friend the others. Perfect!

Oh? Not for first degree murder?

So basically next time I’m in Gaithersburg I’m looking at the drivers there really suspiciously - they might be licensed because they’re either really good at driving or really good at blowjobs.

We’re sorry. :-(

LOL - “My eyes... they’re SORE!”

Brilliant, brilliant writing!

Good luck!!!!

All the sniffles. Check out the logo of the dinosaur with the hand on it at the end of the trailer. Who’s cutting onions??

This reads exactly like an article from The Onion. It can’t be real life!

When I was about 7, me and my entire crew of underage hooligans were able to and allowed to ride our bikes out to the main road, along the freeway, and across the pedestrian bride and about 2 miles down the road to the little mini mall where we spent our allowances on basically diabetes. It was such a fun time.

Things…

Even better - my friend lives in Switzerland and they have daycares there on what they call a Creche (spelling?) system - you pay a percentage of your income, even if that income is zero. So so cool!

I would get the Porsche. Simple reason - handling.

I wonder if its because the older you get the more set in your ways and the less flexible you’re willing to be?

You know what? You’ve veeeeeery close A friend of mine settled for $12million - lets just say Botched Episiotomy.

I love the way he owned it. None of that “I was hacked” shit.

Oh yes. Yes I do.

I’m in the wedding business, and let me tell you - no-one will EVER be satisfied with what you do. If you have an elephant at the wedding, people will be like “Oh, only one elephant?”

Do what you want, be happy, focus on the lovely spouse at the end of the party and rest assured in the fact that nobody will be able to…

Genius!

Maybe because “Americans” are illegal too.

Did she get a warning? I don’t think this is serious enough to just instantly get fired for.

Oh my FB feed is AMAZING - we’re at a solid 100% dope right now - I blocked all the losers quite a while ago - they’ve had many opportunities - Obama winning, plenty of gun control issues, dead unarmed teens, Obamas re-election. I’ve shaved it down to just awesome people, and as an awesome bonus I’m a wedding…