Look, if you buy one of these, I’m going to have you arrested, because clearly you’re shady.

I’m not sure if I was ever not in the greys on theedread - I know I’m not on jezebel. I’ve certainly commented here more than a couple of times though...

I’m a wedding photographer. Something about weddings makes folks horny. I’ve never, ever done anything inappropriate at a wedding, with a guest, fellow vendor - not even after the wedding. I just think it would be spectacularly unprofessional and I wouldn’t want that reputation. BUT, I’ve been propositioned in some…

She’s my new person i’d most like to have lunch with. I’m a fan!

I’m thinking post, but then you never know. I wonder if theres a behind the scenes or something?

I’ve always seen both a DJ and an MC (separate people).

Wedding photographer here - my wedding last night, the groom sprang for a fancy band (they were awesome!) and also a DJ - the crowd just really wanted to dance to popular music played by the DJ and whenever the band played they mostly just went and sat down. The band was pretty sad about it and I had to let them know…

You’re kidding. I’m a wedding photographer and I’ve shot over 200 weddings. More than 75% have had an MC (Master of Ceremony).

Wedding photographer here. Once I arrived at a reception and saw the cake leaning dangerously - my assistant wanted to go check it out and I forbade him - I didn’t want anyone from my team over there when it fell. And it fell. It was a 4 tier and the top 2 tiers fell over. Actually the pictures I took before and after…

I’m a guy, I was trying to decide between Mad Max and Spy, ended up watching Spy and I loved it! Entourage never figured into my plans, seems a bit dude-bro for me.

Or not do the damned interview. I mean, really - if you insist on having me at the interview, and I insist on having my daughter, what you gonna do?

“My team won the game because our strategy was to score more points than the other team. And we did.” <- We really need a kid-free press conference to get that across?

And there was the ex who was totally the love of my life. Long story, but we broke up (twice) and we stayed in touch. She ended up marrying her ex who was a feature of some of our drama, and I had mixed feelings about that. Years went by and it turned out he’s Facebook friends with a friend of mine so I ended up…

I’ve got 2 little stories -

For if all the little ones don’t work.

Whoa - I came on here to comment about you and now I can comment TO you. I love the internet. You looked like you had the time of your life, and it was beautiful to watch. Go you!

Lindsay Lohan didn’t work on her probation “for several weeks” - she had less than 120 hours to do and thats 3 weeks of 8 hour days, weekdays only. If she really did it with no breaks it was 2 weeks and 1 day. Neither is several weeks.

When Martha was on house arrest my dad called and said he would PAY to be on house arrest there.

In my case I had a somewhat delayed reaction. The crying didn’t set in until about 3 years later.

Sounds like your list could be summarized as “Is not my ex.”