Ina Garten is one of the few old school Food Network stars I can stand. Besides making good food without histrionics, I like it when her husband rolls up in his 7-series like a real Hamptons Gangsta

In a just universe, homeless (but queer and larcenous) waif answers the ad, slips something in the guy's drink to make him sleep, then ties him naked to the bed. Then she and her girlfriend ransack his place, take anything of value, and find the PINs for all his cards. They depart after taking a few pics of him naked…

Slightly more common than that. :-)

...he save bread...?

Thank you for writing this Rebecca. Purm was also a badass feminist and loved Jezebel.

Does that mean "beef with horse egg"? I hope that means beef with horse egg.

That Russian guy was just the fucking best.

Ah, yeah, that would make sense. In any case, I'm picturing the waiter as Murray from Flight of the Conchords.

I once had an "Actor" show up to a date still wearing lipstick from his job (singing carols at a christmas market...nice acting, broham) and then proceed to criticize me for wearing too much makeup. He also said "Your pictures didn't suggest you'd be fat" and I was like "I literally have a full body shot on okcupid.…

This is just a place for OKCupid horror stories, right? I'm in!

WE HATE THE DUGGARS!!!!!

Rabid homosexual activists

they're being targeted by "rabid homosexual activists."

This guy has a hell of a lot going for him. A fantastic sense of humor, the desire to help torment awful relatives and a love of good music.

I posted a Facebook status on Friday that nobody liked. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD!

No. I can respond however I like, actually. Here's the deal: There are so many assumptions here, most of them arrogant and ridiculous. First is the idea that students actually don't know where their food comes from. It doesn't, by the way, mostly come from the forest. It comes from factory farms. If you really want to…

Katniss Everdeen had already killed her first five teenagers by that age!

Watch that video?

Yeah, I can't watch that, just the basic facts of the story is enough to make me cry. This poor man. My heart goes out to him and his family.